Our world views are so filtered by our past experiences. How does one clean the lens through which we look to see more clearly.
I am at the beginning of a new relationship and find myself slipping back to view things from past experiences. As I dig deeper into this I realize that I still, at the ripe old age of 63, harbour emotional wounds that I thought I was way past. It really is quite funny how these memories cling like leeches onto one’s heart. I will try self talk to see if I can really get to the root of this but I have a feeling that I am scared. Is this natural or not? My new mantra is “IT IS WHAT IT IS”. If I can love myself through this then I can love others with their misty lens from their past. I believe that every person we meet is brought into our lives to teach us, to reflect back those character traits that we are blind to. When I was facilitating adult classes I would us the Jahori Window to demonstrate how we have a blind spot to our own
personality traits we have never been aware of. That is what others reflect back to us, and without this we will blindly go on wondering what is the matter with everyone else when the responsibility for change lies squarely on our own shoulders.
Look in the mirror and see, really see, the person reflected back to you. Being a human with so many experiences under my belt I have to go deep, really deep. Of course I uncover my fear of emotionally unavailable behaviours from past relationships. So I ask myself, “Am I emotionally unavailable and the answer is Yes! I have used this as a coping skill which was learned from my first teacher, my father and the joke is on me…so am I! Well there is always hope and now that I know what this is I can change. It is going to take courage but another characteristic I learned was that I have the power and the will to change and I know I can do it.
My new friend, I am grateful for the mirror. Thank you.
The art of communication has changed. It now comes on an iPhone on a small screen. You text back the reply and back and forth it goes.
It has its very own language. The world has become quieter however, I can’t see the colour of your eyes, the expressions on your face,
your intonations, affects or body language. I am really not sure how you meant that to be taken when I just read a text. I think there must be a lot of mistaken messages that have been taken the wrong way and creates a problem between the two parties trying to get a point across.
One day perhaps you can hear me through mental telepathy and you will pick up the true meaning of what I am trying to say.
Animals don’t use technology and they communicate just fine. We could learn from them.
Skype has helped a lot because now I can see you and of course this has become a standard form for those little phones so it is hopeful.
Especially if you want the love, understanding and compassion to come through. So WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?
As I am now living in the afternoon of life I observe and listen a lot more. In my 30’s I was on a power trip, in my 40’s I was reaching my lofty goals, in my 50’s I really started to reflect and now in my 60’s I see, hear, and learn.
My oldest daughter is a hamster. She is going so fast on the wheel of life I am not sure how long her legs can keep up the pace she has set for herself. When I look back, I can cast no stones as I was exactly like that. Thus all comes full circle as she retorts: “Where do you think I learned it from!”
Flash forward to the future and I can now clearly hear my mother saying: “You have to learn to pace yourself.” My daugher’s latest goal; as she is works part time, raises a 3 yr. old, runs a business, in the middle of selling their house and moving, is now training as a Road Warrior for the cancer ride between Vancouver and Seattle in a couple of weeks.
But such are the adult stages of life.
My youngest daughter is a turtle, an introvert and completely content with a much slower pace of life..Ahhhh! The strangest thing about that is she has always had her own pace and to a hamster it can be very irritating. She also started collecting turtles at an early age and now believe it or not, she is married to a sheep farmer’s son in the little town of Turtleford!
So now that I approach learning to fly I can take a higher view of the bigger picture and see more. Such is wisdom as it is earned on the journey of life.
So I ask you – ARE YOU A HAMSTER OR A BIRD??