Got up today full of life. Not sure who or what flipped the switch to ON but it has been a great day. My hunch is that I worked on forgiving myself and did exercises to help process this. Much to my delight my creativity sprang forth and I hand painted 10 Christmas cards. That felt great. I also did a Christmas craft to give to my pals. Perhaps it was the positive frequency of giving that flipped my switch. To top off this great day I won $21.00. Yahoo. AND the best part of all is that I was not hungry, can you believe it???
I am learning that my addiction to sugar is just a coping habit to cover up deep rooted feelings that I do have the courage to face. When life throws a curve ball and I get hit smack in the stomach I run to my comfort foods to protect me from feeling the pain. The deep rooted neuro-pathways that I formed long ago as a child when I was hurt, are even deeper now and that is what is generated when something reminds me of the pain of loss. As I reflect upon this I stumbled upon a belief that I have harbored all my conscious days..that I do not deserve. And this belief is so prominent in my psychic memories that I draw to me all manner of situations to validate it. My higher self dropped a hint to my conscious mind while I was reading a book about how loving the universe is. Yeah Right, was my first response..which led me to the core belief of not deserving. I have blocked the love of the universe by numbing my feelings with food. So this is one step closer to healing. I found a great exercise that helped to uncover the root cause.
Western Doctors are useless!! I might as well have gone and talked to a brick wall. I was pissed at the waste of time I just wanted to punch something. Then I had an AHA it is the long stuffed anger starting to surface…its is getting scary on this sugar detox. More info on educating myself on what is happening to my brain:
- The evidence is in. Sugar causes inflammation. The insulin-resistant fat cells you pack on when you eat too much sugar produces nasty inflammatory messages (cytokines) … spreading their damage to the brain. In fact, researchers have suggested calling depression “metabolic syndrome Type II” because instead of just having a fat swollen belly, you also get a fat swollen (and depressed) brain. And psychiatrists are starting to treat depressionand psychiatric disorders with anti-diabetic drugs like Actos! These drugs lower blood sugar, lower insulin, and reduce inflammation.”
- “Eating lots of sugar is going to give you sudden peaks and troughs in the amount of glucose in your blood; symptoms that this is going on include fatigue, irritability, dizziness, insomnia, excessive sweating (especially at night), poor concentration and forgetfulness, excessive thirst, depression and crying spells, digestive disturbances and blurred vision. Since the brain depends on an even supply of glucose it is no surprise to find that sugar has been implicated in aggressive behavior, anxiety, and depression, and fatigue.” Oh just wonderful!
- I QUIT SUGAR
And the war goes on, despite everything I know my inner child won in search of comfort after an 18 hour grueling day yesterday. I was up at 6:30 to catch the ferry over to the main land for my beautiful cousins celebration of life. I had the courage to get up and speak in front over 200 people. The whole day was walk, talk, walk and talk. Finally arrived home at midnight. This morning woke up with a huge hunger. So instead of wrestling with the sugar bear I chose passionate compassion and fed the beast. Now I have 2 choices: I can beat myself up all day OR I can forgive myself and start over.
“Your intuition will wisely guide you into the balanced and intelligent heart frequencies of true love.
The feelings of true love and care are very different from feelings like attachment and overcare.
Overcare is when you allow lower heart bands to take over your feelings and they can deplete your system and cause tremendous stress. Stress being the #1 killer of wellbeing.
If you suffer from a broken heart, your mind takes a deep disappointment and keeps replaying the same loop of negative feelings over and over which reinforces the hurt feelings each time. When you are hurt, the emotional shock can short-circuit your mind and your emotions.
Love can seem like the cause of that hurt, especially when the initial heart feeling is deep and sincere. In reality, it’s what your head does with our feeling of love the determines whether it stays in the higher heart and is fulfilling, or leads us into lower heart feelings and stress.
Only the heart has the power to give you complete release from mental and emotional issues that drain you. The bailout is to activate enough heart power to replace self-victimizing head programs with true heart programs.” Sara Paddison – The “>Hidden Power of the Heart.
Learn to feel again from the heart. If it feels good, do it and if it does not feel good do not do it.
TO THINE OWN HEART (SELF) BE TRUE!