UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD. A term coined by the famous psychologist Carl Rogers. It is being fully present for others, paying attention to what they are saying, eye contact and genuine interest. I would call being authentically there for the other person. This attention to another comes from the heart and the other person can feel the energy and it can have a healing effect. Being heard by another is life affirming. So today please give your undivided attention to someone you care about and spread authentic love.
Posts tagged ‘compassion’
The story is called THE CRABBY CASHIER.
She is rude, curt and down right mean in her behavior towards you. Like you are really, really bothering her and annoying her and you have done nothing to provoke this.
So you decide to run the story in your mind: “Oh the poor thing. This morning when she woke up her boyfriend had left and taken her dog. When she went to get in the car to go to work it had 2 flat tires. Now she was late and she was rushing to work because she was already under probation for being late and rent was due. She was starving so she whipped through the drive through and on the way a driver cut her off and she spilled the coffee all down her front. When she finally pulled into the parking lot at work someone was parked in her spot. As she ran to get into work her heel broke and she twisted her ankle…..”.and on and on you can go with this story in your mind.
All of a sudden YOUR vibration shifts and a large wave of compassion washes over you and the cashier. She changes right before your eyes. Try this, it works like magic and it is fun to make up the worst case scenario you can about someone that is taking their day out on you.
Some of you may remember the book “I’m OK, You’re OK. Or how about the chidrens’ book, The Little Engine That Could. ” I think I can, I think I can.” As we learn the power of the thoughts we hold in our minds and hearts and raising the vibrational energy in alignment with harmony, those stories hold very powerful lessons. So much of your precious energy is wasted on thoughts of what is wrong with me, or with her, or with him. Precious energy that could be used instead to draw upon the power of love. If someone or something is irritating you today change your perception of them which will change your vibrational energy and JUST LOVE.
Show the love to yourself. You are important and your health and happiness depend on your responsibility to take care of yourself. Give yourself permission to take time to assess your needs. Have you even taken the time to know what your needs are? You are an expert at caring for the needs of others but if you have depleted your compassionate deposits it is you who will pay the price within the quality of your life.
Love does heal, love fosters connections and love breeds more love. Giving of yourself when you are running on empty causes resentment and frustration which will manifest one way or another in your health and happiness.
Take little steps each day for YOU. You have to feel your are worth it to give yourself the space to change and to prioritize it in your life.
Create a sacred space just for you. One busy mother of young children used a colored stop sign on her room to teach her children. Red meant do not disturb and green was OK. Significant others need to understand this as well and respect your needs for space. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Keep your promises to yourself and ask for support. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Statistics indicate that the holidays are the loneliness time of the year. There is a solution, it is learning to go to the center of your being, your heart. Your heart is where your spirit lives, not in the rational logical mind, but in the heart. To learn the skill of stopping the brain chatter and quiet the mind allows your to tap into that Divine Intelligence that speaks gently to you through the heart. Your heart is the most powerful source of your essence. There is always love, compassion and peace within the heart. If we can all learn to live from the heart then we can heal the world with the power of love emanating from this great power source. This love, compassion and peace starts within you and can radiate into your present moments of the now. Make heart centered love your number one new year’s resolution.
It really IS all about LOVE. As we raise in consciousness our awareness of the energy vibrations is becoming common knowledge. There are so many good people who are now living from the hearts that the global consciousness is also rising. This is a good thing. I just learned an interesting statistic that a person that radiates love from their heart and live by their heart, can affect 750 other people. So like the stone in a pond it ripples outward. We can as a collective, save our beautiful Mother Earth by continuing to learn and grow and REMEMBER who we are, pure energies of love, compassion and generosity. Make a little contract with yourself today to make eye contact with someone and send them love through your smile. If they are open to receive, watch the transformation right before your eyes.
Our world views are so filtered by our past experiences. How does one clean the lens through which we look to see more clearly.
I am at the beginning of a new relationship and find myself slipping back to view things from past experiences. As I dig deeper into this I realize that I still, at the ripe old age of 63, harbour emotional wounds that I thought I was way past. It really is quite funny how these memories cling like leeches onto one’s heart. I will try self talk to see if I can really get to the root of this but I have a feeling that I am scared. Is this natural or not? My new mantra is “IT IS WHAT IT IS”. If I can love myself through this then I can love others with their misty lens from their past. I believe that every person we meet is brought into our lives to teach us, to reflect back those character traits that we are blind to. When I was facilitating adult classes I would us the Jahori Window to demonstrate how we have a blind spot to our own
personality traits we have never been aware of. That is what others reflect back to us, and without this we will blindly go on wondering what is the matter with everyone else when the responsibility for change lies squarely on our own shoulders.
Look in the mirror and see, really see, the person reflected back to you. Being a human with so many experiences under my belt I have to go deep, really deep. Of course I uncover my fear of emotionally unavailable behaviours from past relationships. So I ask myself, “Am I emotionally unavailable and the answer is Yes! I have used this as a coping skill which was learned from my first teacher, my father and the joke is on me…so am I! Well there is always hope and now that I know what this is I can change. It is going to take courage but another characteristic I learned was that I have the power and the will to change and I know I can do it.
My new friend, I am grateful for the mirror. Thank you.