Got up today full of life. Not sure who or what flipped the switch to ON but it has been a great day. My hunch is that I worked on forgiving myself and did exercises to help process this. Much to my delight my creativity sprang forth and I hand painted 10 Christmas cards. That felt great. I also did a Christmas craft to give to my pals. Perhaps it was the positive frequency of giving that flipped my switch. To top off this great day I won $21.00. Yahoo. AND the best part of all is that I was not hungry, can you believe it???
I am learning that my addiction to sugar is just a coping habit to cover up deep rooted feelings that I do have the courage to face. When life throws a curve ball and I get hit smack in the stomach I run to my comfort foods to protect me from feeling the pain. The deep rooted neuro-pathways that I formed long ago as a child when I was hurt, are even deeper now and that is what is generated when something reminds me of the pain of loss. As I reflect upon this I stumbled upon a belief that I have harbored all my conscious days..that I do not deserve. And this belief is so prominent in my psychic memories that I draw to me all manner of situations to validate it. My higher self dropped a hint to my conscious mind while I was reading a book about how loving the universe is. Yeah Right, was my first response..which led me to the core belief of not deserving. I have blocked the love of the universe by numbing my feelings with food. So this is one step closer to healing. I found a great exercise that helped to uncover the root cause.
Today is not a good day. Lost a good friend, it is rainy and miserable and so am I.
What in the world can I replace food with to comfort me in tough times??? Still looking.
Yesterday I visited with 2 wise owl friends and the discussion was about shutting down our feelings. When I found this picture for my blog it was perfect. I have always felt for a long time that I just switched off. For the past 4 months I just sat in my chair doing NOTHING. At the beginning of November I had made a commitment months earlier to go back to my home town and babysit my granddaughter while the kids took a break and went to Mexico. Something clicked. It was very subtle and brief. An instant decision to start living again and I stared to feel alive again. Now the work begins as I realize that the loss of my home and dream back in May of 2017 due to a betrayal, knocked my socks off and I was overwhelmed with pain so I just flipped my switch. While back home last week, my higher self or intuitive guides (whatever your preference is to name it) whispered enough is enough. It is time to take action and change. Today I can feel the flicker of my old flame of passion and I am flipping the switch back on and coming out of my cave. This article by Luna and Sol really helped. 13 Signs You’re Struggling with Emotional Numbness
In Canada we celebrate THANKS GIVING this weekend. It is a perfect time to stop and give conscious thought to what we are grateful for. A tool I learned long ago was using a gratitude journal. This can really uplift your vibration especially in these changing times. I remember after loosing my beloved husband on Thanks Giving weekend when I was a very young, and our world was instantly turned upside down, was to line the walls of our hall with flip chart paper and each of us had to add one thing we were grateful for and soon we had a hall filled with flip charts listing love and appreciation for what we did have. This really helped to heal our loss.
One of our conversations around the dinner table was of course, the tragedy in Las Vegas. What came out of that conversation is the amazing selflessness of the instant human reaction to shield and protect others. I choose to focus on that. You have the power of healing love inside you, so choose that. HAPPY THANKS GIVING.
Remember the old saying garbage in garbage out.? Is it because we live in a world of duality that there are so many mixed messages for our minds to sort through/ What if it was only one thought and that is the thought of love. Love for all that is and ever was. Unity consciousness in this day and age of chaos and uncertainty. I ask you to take up the challenge and look for the beauty and light in every adversity. Are these horrific things happening on and to mother earth there to push us to grow in love and light?
Today is of significance to me as it was a year ago that I last held the hand of my dear beloved mother before she passed. I have experienced many deaths over my life time and after the grieving I learned so much about the after life and soul’s departing. You must have enough self love to allow your self to grieve and I won’t sugar coat it, it hurts a lot. Some times it feels like you can’t breathe or your heart has been crushed. You must go through it to see the greatness on the other side. As I held the hand of my father who fought for 10 days and finally let go, I read the book LIFE AFTER DEATH by Deepak. It helped a lot. You learn that your loved ones have most assuredly passed onto another dimension filled with light and love and there is no more suffering. Today I am witnessing the departure of my beautiful cousin and I am holding onto the knowing that her soul will be free to fly.