Got up today full of life. Not sure who or what flipped the switch to ON but it has been a great day. My hunch is that I worked on forgiving myself and did exercises to help process this. Much to my delight my creativity sprang forth and I hand painted 10 Christmas cards. That felt great. I also did a Christmas craft to give to my pals. Perhaps it was the positive frequency of giving that flipped my switch. To top off this great day I won $21.00. Yahoo. AND the best part of all is that I was not hungry, can you believe it???
I am learning that my addiction to sugar is just a coping habit to cover up deep rooted feelings that I do have the courage to face. When life throws a curve ball and I get hit smack in the stomach I run to my comfort foods to protect me from feeling the pain. The deep rooted neuro-pathways that I formed long ago as a child when I was hurt, are even deeper now and that is what is generated when something reminds me of the pain of loss. As I reflect upon this I stumbled upon a belief that I have harbored all my conscious days..that I do not deserve. And this belief is so prominent in my psychic memories that I draw to me all manner of situations to validate it. My higher self dropped a hint to my conscious mind while I was reading a book about how loving the universe is. Yeah Right, was my first response..which led me to the core belief of not deserving. I have blocked the love of the universe by numbing my feelings with food. So this is one step closer to healing. I found a great exercise that helped to uncover the root cause.
Today is not a good day. Lost a good friend, it is rainy and miserable and so am I.
What in the world can I replace food with to comfort me in tough times??? Still looking.