Our world views are so filtered by our past experiences. How does one clean the lens through which we look to see more clearly.
I am at the beginning of a new relationship and find myself slipping back to view things from past experiences. As I dig deeper into this I realize that I still, at the ripe old age of 63, harbour emotional wounds that I thought I was way past. It really is quite funny how these memories cling like leeches onto one’s heart. I will try self talk to see if I can really get to the root of this but I have a feeling that I am scared. Is this natural or not? My new mantra is “IT IS WHAT IT IS”. If I can love myself through this then I can love others with their misty lens from their past. I believe that every person we meet is brought into our lives to teach us, to reflect back those character traits that we are blind to. When I was facilitating adult classes I would us the Jahori Window to demonstrate how we have a blind spot to our own
personality traits we have never been aware of. That is what others reflect back to us, and without this we will blindly go on wondering what is the matter with everyone else when the responsibility for change lies squarely on our own shoulders.
Look in the mirror and see, really see, the person reflected back to you. Being a human with so many experiences under my belt I have to go deep, really deep. Of course I uncover my fear of emotionally unavailable behaviours from past relationships. So I ask myself, “Am I emotionally unavailable and the answer is Yes! I have used this as a coping skill which was learned from my first teacher, my father and the joke is on me…so am I! Well there is always hope and now that I know what this is I can change. It is going to take courage but another characteristic I learned was that I have the power and the will to change and I know I can do it.
My new friend, I am grateful for the mirror. Thank you.